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April 21, 2011
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Race by Shioji-san Race by Shioji-san
Okay now to expplain just who these other two are that are racing *LyricaBelachium's twins Ashbringer and Cliffstrider. Well this is my way of not only introducing new characters of mine, but as well as the two main characters in the digital game I am working Sonic and Haste. Sonic being the blue one and Haste being the purple on. For in the game you should be able to pic to be the femme or the mech. I know I sound like a hypocrite for saying this next part, though they be the children of Blurr. At first I didn't mean to make it like that, though you know how when you get an idea stuck in your head about a character and it's something you like and want to keep. =P

but anyways enjoy the pic
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:icondjaimon:
This the first time I had ever written a critique, so I'm pretty sure it contains many errors. Or something. I wouldn't mind if you disapprove and bombard this critique, but I hope that you'll give an explanation as to why you do it.

Now... I'll try to critique as fairly as possible with the DA FAQ as a guide.

Vision – Does the artwork present or reflect a point of view, theme or idea?

All I can say that the picture is very simple. It's basically a picture of 4 Transformers racing, nothing more, nothing less. The picture reflects the theme (racing) straightforwardly. There's nothing else for me to interpret, unless that this picture holds a very deep meaning or something that I missed out. (which I highly doubt)

Originality – Is the artwork fresh or new in its style, execution or approach? Is it something you haven’t seen before in its particular genre? Does it surprise you?

It isn't a whole lot original, to boot. I've seen many other pictures of Transformers racing. Their designs aren't all that original either, since they're all related to Blurr and exerts a reasonable amount of his IDW and TFA designs. And is that a Drift-helm I see there? However, I do appreciate that you didn't completely copied Blurr's design and added some of your own designs. The racetrack isn't very original too, it basically being a simple arena with no special features.

Technique – Was the artwork skillfully created? Does the artist exhibit advanced knowledge of the medium and/or bring special focus to the craft of the medium used.

Colouring:

The choice of colour is perfect, with all the light in the arena, the colours are unsaturated and fits in perfectly with the background.

The thing that irks me most about the picture is of the distinct lack of shading. (not highlights, this picture has enough of that) Examples are Cliffstrider's left leg and the back-flap at her bottom. The same goes to the lights/camera on top of the racetrack. However, I do understand that you had used some gradient to replace it but it still looked weird. There is also the lack of shadows too, from the contestants and the beams that supports the lights/camera. But then, I'm not familiar with the cell-shading style, so I might be too unfair in this case.

The highlights in the picture is bright and makes the details on the characters pop out, especially Sonic. I have no qualms about that. :P

I also love the motion blur effect you've added, it makes the picture dynamic~ <3

Impact – Does the artwork resonate with you or evoke strong emotions? Does it make you think? Does it blow your mind?

When I first saw this picture, I think it's very pacey and full of action. Though, it doesn't really 'evoke strong emotions' or 'blow my mind'. To sum it up, it doesn't make me go "SQUEE OMG" It's pretty simple to my eyes. Their expressions are easy to read too: Haste looks confident enough to overtake Cliffstrider, with the latter having an amused and competitive expression. Sonic looks very smug while Ashbringer's expression clearly warns him to watch out.

Sonic's pose looks perfect. However, I think the other poses are a wee bit stiff. Haste and Ashbringer should hunch more and Cliffstrider's back should bend a little bit. And I think Ashbringer's neck is too long. Her left thigh can be raised a little higher and her right leg pushed further to the back to indicate that she's giving it her all to beat Sonic.

Don't be afraid to apply the squashing technique to your pictures, heck, even the TFA animators used this technique to make the characters look more dynamic too! |'D These two guides may help you improve more on poses: [link] [link]

Deviousness – An average rating based on your selections within Vision, Originality, Technique, and Impact.

Overall, I think this piece is wonderfully executed, but it has a few errors that I think needs correcting. I hope you'll keep up the good work! :3
What do you think?
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31 out of 31 deviants thought this was fair.

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:icondogicrimson:
DogiCrimson Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Tried to check was there other TF OC that was named Flamer. I'm glad I did, these two looks AWESOME.
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:iconshioji-san:
Shioji-san Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2011  Student Digital Artist
I'm glad you like =D
Reply
:icondogicrimson:
DogiCrimson Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Like? I think I love them :3
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:icontartly-sweet:
Tartly-Sweet Featured By Owner May 6, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
So does this mean you're for cannon x OC relationships now or is this just for the fun of the game you're making? *a little confused*
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:iconimaginationdiva:
ImaginationDiva Featured By Owner May 3, 2011  Student Digital Artist
So whose Blurr's sparkmate?
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:iconshioji-san:
Shioji-san Featured By Owner May 3, 2011  Student Digital Artist
A random femme really, the party dude he was seen doing made him seem like he would go around and just sleep with random femmes, and they're a product of one he wasn't careful with =p
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:icontrans-fan-rod:
trans-fan-ROD Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2011  Hobbyist
sweet :)
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:iconsmilebot-adridea:
smilebot-adridea Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2011  Student General Artist
waw very cool and nice pic here ! =D
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:iconisrael42:
Israel42 Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
COOL. Tho the color's seems a little too pale.. ^^ all in all it's okay.
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:iconshioji-san:
Shioji-san Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2011  Student Digital Artist
thanks x3
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